It was in the middle of summer. I was at home with someone else and we were both using our laptops when I suddenly started feeling really fearfull. It was something I had never felt before, it was like the walls were closing down on me and I couldn’t breath. I went to lay on the couch to see what would happen next. A couple of minutes later my body started to shake and I felt my eyes spread wide open. I had experienced a panic attack. It was not something I would describe as fun, but there’s a first time for everything.
My body felt cold and sweaty, and on top of that, I suddenly felt exhausted, broken. The shocks had drained the energy out of my body. The person I was with walked over to me and squatted down. I asked them if I had a panic attack. They answerd by grabbing my hand, and I started to cry. It was a releive to do that. They told me I should have said how I felt, I noticed that something was off before it all happend.
The next week I looked up a lot of pages about panic attacks. Autism is oftenly associated with anxiety. To me stress was the main cause of this anxiety, so I decited I wanted to take haptotherapy. Since insurance did not cover this it is rather expensive, so I took energetic trestments for my complains instead. You have read about this in earlyer columns. Luckely, this works really well and I can use my new ‘tools’ like mindfulness to calm down. Untill now i did not have a second panic attack, and as you might understand, I intend to keep it that way.
Translated by Amber van Bergeijk